Core points of Gamers


Core points of Gamers

10 Dumbest Marvel Hero Victories

With Marvel Comics, one of the hallmarks of superhero comics is the inevitable triumph of the heroes. Some victories are epic, sitting in the public’s zeitgeist as a legendary conclusion to a legendary story. Some are embarrassing and ridiculous enough that someone would look at them and say, “That’s just silly.”

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These victories can be in a sitcom or involve comedic characters. This could be the case of a powerful hero having trouble with an enemy that should be easy to beat. They can also have an offbeat or anticlimactic ending. These are the stories that can damage readers’ brains.

10/10 Marvel made a ridiculous foe look like a tough opponent for the thing

Thing #7 by John Byrne, Ron Wilson, Hilary Barta, Bob Sharen, Clem Robins, and Rick Parker

In 1984, Assistant Editors Month it was an event where all of Marvel’s assistant editors “took over” the titles when their bosses left town. At the very least, there was recognition in the form of the cover corner box used by Marvel. In the extreme, the comics were too humorous.

In Thing #7, the first story featured Ben Grimm fighting a bank robber wearing a giant shoe called the Goody-Two-Shoes. It is revealed in the second story of the comic that the battle only involved a flick of the Thing’s finger. The first story was a Marvel Comics hype in a slow month.

9/10 Captain America Sam Wilson defeated Dr. Malus after becoming Cap-Wolf

Captain America: Sam Wilson #3 by Nick Spencer, Daniel Acuna, Mike Choi and Joe Caramagna

Misty Knight rescues Cap-Wolf Sam Wilson

“Cap-Wolf” is a legendary story from the 90s in which Steve Rogers turned into a werewolf. When Sam Wilson took over the role of Captain America, he inherited many of Steve Rogers’ villains. One such villain was a criminal scientist obsessed with superhuman abilities, Dr. Karl Malus.

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Dr. Malus had been kidnapping undocumented immigrants and experimenting on them. Dr. Malus then captured Sam Wilson and transformed him into a new Cap-Wolf. The temporary transformation amused Sam’s ally Misty Knight, much to Sam’s chagrin. Despite this ridiculous turn of events, Sam and Misty attacked and defeated Dr. Malus’ hybrids, including some familiar ninja turtles.

8/10 Hercules defeated the blood brothers but lost his disguise

Avengers #252 by Roger Stern, Bob Hall, Joe Sinnott, Jim Novak, and Christie Scheele

Hercules from the Avengers being beaten by the Bloody Brothers in Marvel Comics

As part of his plan to bring peace to Earth, Vision sent the Avengers to one of Thanos’ abandoned bases in Arizona. There, the US Army was trying to study the equipment. Two scientists activated a teleporter without knowing what it was.

A pair of alien powerhouses called the Blood Brothers emerged from the teleporter and quickly slammed Hercules to the ground. Before they could kill Captain America and the Scarlet Witch, Hercules rallied and defeated the thugs. Unfortunately, the battle rendered his disguise indecent, forcing him to borrow the Scarlet Witch’s cloak to cover himself.

7/10 Spider-Man had to stop his own Spider-Mobile

The Amazing Spider-Man #160 by Len Wein, Ross Andru, Mike Esposito, Glynis Wein and Joe Rosen

Tinkerer Spider-Man Spider-Mobile

The Spider-Mobile remains one of the legends of the Bronze Age. Spider-Man had been lent a themed buggy to promote a car company, but he ended up sinking into the Hudson River. He was suddenly back, trying to kill Spider-Man, with no one behind the wheel. When the police officers saw him lurking around the corner, he looked like something out of a cartoon.

It turned out that the criminal inventor known as the Tinkerer had saved the Spider-Mobile, by making some changes, thus acting as one of Spidey’s ex-girlfriends. Spider-Man stopped the villain, smashing the Spider-Mobile in the process. Spidey then returned the demolished Spider-Mobile to the advertising company that lent him the car.

6/10 Professor X defeated Eye-Scream by adjusting the thermostat.

Obnoxio the Clown vs. the X-Men #1 by Alan Kupperberg

Professor X freezes Eye-Scream

Outside of canon, the mutant criminal known as Eye-Scream could turn into various flavors of ice cream. He took advantage of Obnoxio the Clown’s appearance at Xavier’s School for Kitty Pryde’s birthday to attempt to destroy the X-Men. His presence overloaded Cerebro, taking out Professor X before he could inform the X-Men of Obnoxio’s visit.

As the X-Men battled Obnoxio, Eye-Scream activated the Danger Room. He didn’t realize that Professor X had regained consciousness and was thwarting his attack. Charles Xavier lowered the temperature of the Danger Room Control Room until he turned Eye-Scream into a frozen block of ice.

5/10 Warlock defeats the impossible man by changing color

New Mutants Annual #3 by Chris Claremont, Alan Davis, Paul Neary, Tom Orzechowski and Glynis Oliver

Warlock from New Mutants punches Impossible Man in Marvel Comics

Impossible Man showed up at Xavier’s School to entertain the X-Men again, but only the New Mutants were home. They refused to play with Impossible Man. However, his taunts eventually got to Warlock, and the two shapeshifters went on a world tour fighting in different guises.

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The New Mutants followed, trying to stop Warlock and Impossible Man from causing collateral damage. Eventually, the team figured out a way for Warlock to win. All the alien mutant had to do was demonstrate his ability to change color. Impossible Man was only able to wear his green and purple color scheme and was plunged into childish defeat.

4/10 The Skrulls freaked out when they thought the comics were real

Fantastic Four #2 (January 1962) by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, George Klein and Stan Goldberg

Reed Richards tricks the Skrulls with comics

The Skrulls’ first appearance saw them impersonate the Fantastic Four and discredit them. The heroes escaped from military imprisonment and hatched a plan to defeat the Skrulls. Using the Human Torch as a decoy, the four Skrulls on Earth were no match for the Fantastic Four.

Posing as the Skrulls, the Fantastic Four traveled to the waiting Skrull ship in orbit. Reed Richards featured clippings from the Johnny Storm comics as photographs of Earth’s various defenses. The Skrulls fled from Earth, and Reed Richards hypnotized the Earth Skrulls into thinking they were ordinary cows.

3/10 Thanos was beaten to the cosmic cube by a child

Super Spidey Stories #39 by Nick Sullivan, Michael Siporin, Jim Salicrup, David Anthony Kraft, Win Mortimer and Mike Esposito

A boy defeats Thanos with the Cosmic Cube

super spidey stories was written for younger readers and was cross-promoted with the television show The Electric Company. In the comic, Spider-Man would team up with various Marvel heroes to thwart various Marvel villains in simplistic storylines.

Then came the story with the legendary Thanos-Copter, piloted by Thanos himself. Thanos was fighting the superhero Cat, known today as Tigra, for the Cosmic Cube. He had even snatched it from a boy who found it. Thanos seemed to have the advantage over Spider-Man and the Cat, but his manipulation of the ground tripped him, causing him to drop the Cube. The boy picked it up and captured Thanos.

2/10 An empty Baxter building defeated the Trapster

Fantastic Four #265 by John Byrne, Mike Higgins and Glynis Wein

Trapster was hit by the empty Fantastic Four headquarters

One of the most entertaining stories of John Byrne’s career in The Fantastic Four it didn’t involve the heroes at all. The villain known as the Trapster, formerly Paste-Pot Pete, broke into the Baxter Building. Unknown to him, there was no one home in the five floors of the Fantastic Four building.

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The security system that Reed Richards had installed followed the Trapster through the building, even disabling his glue gun. The villain panicked when he realized that the security system was monitoring his activities. Heading to the lobby, Trapster attempted to take the receptionist hostage, unaware that he was a robot. He knocked the Trapster unconscious and called the police.

1/10 The unknown superhero fought against armed robbers

The Amazing Spider-Man #258 by Tom DeFalco, Ron Frenz, Joe Rubinstein, Joe Rosen, and Bob Sharen

Spider-Man beating up the crooks as the Unknown Superhero

Reed Richards was the one who discovered the alien nature of Spider-Man’s black suit. With the symbiote captured, Peter Parker went home without exposing his secret identity. Johnny Storm provided a spare Fantastic Four costume, but since they didn’t wear masks, he cut holes in a paper bag.

On his way home, Spider-Man stopped a shootout between armed robbers and the police. He fought to keep the bag on his head, but prevailed. The news covered the fight on its evening coverage, calling it “the unknown superhero”.

NEXT: 10 Clever X-Men Covers That Fool Everyone

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